Self Esteem vs Ego

Angel vs Demon

Ego can be defined as the feeling of “self”. I don’t think ego is bad. Ego is just knowing the difference between ourselves and others. As the popular quote by Aristotle goes – “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Everyone must have a sense of self-respect and self-esteem. Without these two qualities, the world starts extracting unjust benefits from us in every possible way, which is not good. Also its a big gift to know one’s self-worth. However when this ego is boosted more and more, a person starts having a superiority complex by which he starts feeling that he is superior that everyone else. And this may include one’s parents, teachers, elders and other wise people. And i think this is where the problem begins. So further, lets consider ego in its extreme form and analyze it.

Due to highly egoistic attitude, people start taking things for granted. They consider that they are the kings and queens of the world and even start behaving like that. And worst of all, they also expect others to treat them in the same way ! I can say that such attitude is highly detrimental specially for students. If students consider themselves the master, then there is no way in which  their master (teacher/Guru) can give them knowledge. As they say, how can a teacher fill a cup when it is already full. Socrates said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” We need to  empty our cups before comings to our Gurus. And believe me there is nothing wrong or embarrassing about it. Its always good to make a fresh new start.

Its always good to be respectful and humble.  Our elders may not be always correct (they are also humans like us) but we must always remember that they have more wisdom than us because of their experience. They have seen more life than us and i am sure there cannot be a better teacher than life. We must not always blindly agree with what others say, but at the same time we must have faith and respect in them. We must not confront them rudely however we must be able to express our views to them. They are our well-wishers and work towards our best interests. So instead of disrespecting others, i feel that it is always better to look at the positive aspects of others and try to inculcate those qualities in ourselves.  After all who are we to judge others. I think if we feel the urge to judge someone then we should rather judge ourselves. An awesome thought i heard today which made me think all this is – “Even the cow gives milk only when you sit down near its feet on your knees, and not when you ride on its back.”

There is a very fine line between self-esteem (the angel) and ego (the demon).  Only the smart ones can see the difference between these. This is the thing which we need to master. If we can determine whether our actions will boost our ego or our self-esteem then we can consider ourselves to be “wise”. To the ones who want to be wise, here is a quote by Confucius which i like a lot –
“By three methods we may learn wisdom:
First, by reflection, which is noblest;
Second, by imitation, which is easiest;
and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”
I think is some cases its wise to learn from others experience as well. I consider myself blessed to have such parents and teachers who always encourage me to express my views and at the same time argue and stand for my views. “Lucky me !” 🙂

On a lighter note here is a news flash !
“The earth revolves around the sun. This might upset a few out there who still think that the world revolves around them.” 😉

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NO, I am Sorry

Do you know one of the most difficult things to say ?? One is “No” and the other is “I am Sorry”. Really it is very difficult to say one of these. One needs a big heart to say it to someone.

Do you who why it is so difficult to say “No” and “I am Sorry” ? Because it hurts our big fat EGO. And anything in this world which hurts our ego is really very difficult to do. That’s why i say that one needs be courageous to say it to someone else. In the beginning it hurts a lot to say it. It may also hurt someone you are saying. But say it from your heart and it will be more meaningful. And finally the results will be good.

We feel that by saying “No” we are accepting that we cannot do something. But believe me sometimes it is the best thing to do. Instead of doing something halfheartedly why not say “No” ? It is much better not to do something than to do it unwillingly. Of course later on when the circumstances are better it can be done. What i mean to say is that saying “No” means “Not now”, it does not mean “Never” !

By saying sorry we accept that we did something wrong and we won’t repeat it again in future. Accepting one’s mistake is a big thing to do. But it is also the first step to correct ourselves. All cannot do it easily. But sometimes like i said earlier, it is the best thing that can be done both for ourselves as well as for others.

Do you want to know the easiest way of saying “No” and “I am Sorry”? It’s very simple and easy. With a little bit of effort anyone can master it. Just try to imagine the other person is in front of you and then just say it. Imagine the reaction of that person. Think how will you reply in that case. Repeat this until you feel confident enough to say it to the person in reality. And in most cases the situation will be similar to the case you imagined!

The biggest benefit of saying “No” and “I am Sorry” is the feeling of relief. As if a big mountain has been removed from our heads. It feels good. A feeling of great joy and satisfaction engulfs us and makes us feel relieved.

So ? Have you been thinking to say it to someone since a long time ? Go ahead ! Do it today. Trust me, it won’t be all that difficult as you feel. You can do it !