Since the time i can remember, i always knew that i was different. My parents tell me as a 4-5 year old kid, before buying a new board-game, i would ask them if one needed “brain” to play that game. I would rather not play a game which did not require using one’s brain. And i used to look down at others who played such (brainless) games! I liked playing with boxes and puzzles more than playing with dolls and kitchen sets. Since childhood i always wanted to be independent. My Dad tells me i used to spend around 15 minutes trying to tie my shoelaces myself when i was 4 even if i was getting late for school. As a kid i hated holding my parent’s hands while walking. Reading has been by favorite hobby ever since i can remember. I still have those hard bound books like The three bears, Puss in Boots etc which i read in childhood. Train journeys were always special because i would get a window seat and a Champak (a kids magazine) to read (later i progressed to Readers’ Digest).
Fast forward few years … I always had very few friends. One or atmost two at a time. It was always difficult for me to make friends. I remember during schooldays when most of my classmates sat under the neem trees and gossiped, i preferred playing basketball. I always had a strong aversion to gossip and small talk. I was never interested in the stories of my classmates’ crushes and heartbreaks and thus probably they were never interested in me. Library was the coolest place in school and i used to eagerly wait for the day when i could get new books issued. I always preferred watching NGC and Discovery instead of daily soaps and music videos.
Fast forward to the present … I know that its difficult for me to mix with people. Being a single child i am always happy being alone. Although i effectively interact with others when required, i always prefer being by myself. I am a good listener. I avoid phone-calls as much as possible (my grandpa’s trait). I mostly make better friends with people who are elder to me. I take a lot of time to fall asleep as thousands of thoughts keep me engaged. And thus i publish most of my blog posts after midnight. If i start something, i cannot just leave is half done. I am never satisfied with what i do, as i always see that i could have done better in hindsight. I think i am crazy, but then i am not too sure 😛
In short, i know i am different. There are very few out there who are like me. I prefer to be with myself than with people who are largely different from me. But all these were my assumptions about myself till now. This is what i thought about myself. Then i came to know about he MBTI test. It categorizes people into sixteen categories on the basis of the following characteristics – introversion / extroversion, sensing / intuition, thinking / feeling, judging / perceiving. You can take this test online here. There are no right or wrong answers. Just answer what YOU think is correct. The test is a bit long and time consuming but its worth trying. Although we behave differently in different situations depending on various factors, however there is a dominant characteristic that determines our personality.
My test results told me that i am an INTJ (Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging). I did not know what it meant. The more i read about it, the more amazed i was. At some points i felt as if i was reading about myself. I was so happy. Mostly I could relate to what was written. It seemed as though, someone understood me and had written it specifically for me (for some points). Do you know the best part? Wikipedia tells that INTJs are one of the rarest of the sixteen personality types, and account for approximately 1-2% of the population (and only 0.8% in women). Finally i had a result to show why it was always difficult for me to make friends and why there are so few people of “my type” out there. This test has showed that there is nothing wrong in being different, and its my personality that i am the way i am! Also its good to be rare and different. For me, these test results have been like finding the proof of a hypothesis which i had assumed since a long time. It feels good 🙂